So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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