no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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