Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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