I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
