i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
