Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
