I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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