What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
