i jhust puked up my retainher.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
