You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Drake has all the answers
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
