I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone signed my nipple.
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