I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
