i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
