You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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