I hate your face
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
