I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
