do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
