I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
