using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
