I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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