smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
