so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
