you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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