dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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