Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
