i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
