if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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