We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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