she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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