Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
