how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
