Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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