i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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