I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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