I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
