Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
