i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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