We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
