What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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