She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
