I wish I only lived at night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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