So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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