um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
