I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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