dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
