Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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