At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
