My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your penis caused this!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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