If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
