im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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