Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
